I have a small theory. The most senior engineer in any room is, on average, the quietest one. They have plenty of opinions. They've also watched their own confident opinions cost the company a quarter, and they've decided to be more careful with that voice.
I notice this in myself. Twenty years in, I'm slower to speak in technical arguments than I was at five. Not because I know less. Because I've learned that 'I'm pretty sure' is the most dangerous phrase in engineering.
The texture of it
- Asks one more clarifying question before answering.
- Says 'I don't know yet' as a complete sentence, without flinching.
- Phrases recommendations as 'here's what I'd try first' rather than 'do this.'
- Reads the room before they read the code.
I don't think this is humility, exactly. It's calibration. You eventually notice that the strongest signal a teammate is wrong is how loudly they're sure they're right. And you start to dread sounding like that.